What Happened to 2015?

At the turn of the year, this year, I was ebullient with optimism. It's all in black and white. There's no denying it.

I encouraged my pal Sara to put her faith in the arbitrary date change too. I feel badly about that.

2015, what happened to you? Sure, I got rid of a chest tumor, a spewing ugly mound of organics that only a cancerous mother might ever love. I constantly remind myself of how awful that thing was, and how it was flinging cancerous cells throughout my system like the confetti at a "Kill Mark" party. This was truly a good thing.

I balance that though with the fact of this arduous recovery from surgery, how old I feel, how much zest seems to have been cut out of me. I balance it with a weepy graft area, an open wound where the graft failed a bit, the home health nurses, people looking at me, assessing me, poking me, touching me--ugh.

I balance it against the fact that I haven't walked Rally in months, and I miss that.

2015 has been about struggles with corporate America.  No matter how many times I tell a company, a medical billing office, any entity, actually, that I can't speak the less they believe it. Or they believe it to such an extent that they won't contact me, or help me, at all. Never lose your ability to speak, because America is way too stupid to help you.

I've had an arduous time this summer just getting warm. I am fully a cancer patient, I am forever cold. Air conditioning is killing me. I loathe it just as many of the offices where I see doctors are ramping it up. Heat combined with humidity is indeed unpleasant and difficult--but is the answer to set the room temperature in the 60's? I go everywhere with my old heavy lumberjack shirt or my fuzzy birthday sweater (as good as panda pillow, Katie).  I still sleep with an electric blanket and I love it. Try to pry it away and you will not like the results.

I've encountered boredom for the first time in a long time this 2015. Just typing that makes me shudder. I've long had utter disdain for that stupid phrase, "I'm bored", so hearing it out of myself is a shock, but a true one. It is hard to get past recovery to enjoy a book, or a show on my Ipad, It is actually work to sit at the big computer and play those distracting games. I have Netflix, Amazon and Hulu at my command but I finally ditched Hulu. Straw that broke the camel's back? putting commercials on a 1980 BBC production of "Pride and Prejudice" (an epically bad production). Please. Go away and monetize to someone else.

I am aware that some of these complaihnts are pretty Firt World and some of them are a bit personal to apply to the flow of an entire year. it is time, though, to call it out: 2015, you've sucked long enough. You have five months to get your act together. Do it