I had started writing a post yesterday and realized I could not focus enough to make any sort of lucid statement, let alone an interesting one. The night and morning of yesterday, I failed to sleep whatsoever. Whatever the causation, whatever the reason, I'm now of an age where greeting the sunrise is something I should want to do, not something that has to happen.
When, in earlier days, the dreaded 10 or 20 page term paper was due and I had to produce it, sunrise was a choosable option. Sure, I had to have an afternoon nap, but if that was the penalty, so be it. To be clear, I should go on record here as anti-nap, in general. I never wake refreshed from one, but sticky, vaguely smelly and disoriented.
A night without sleep is one of the things that will decouple me from common sense faster than anything. I couldn't think straight all day, my eyes closing while watching "Girls" on the Ipad. So, I began a day long attempt to have a nap. I counted: fifteen times I tried and fifteen times, within 5 minutes was up again. So I began to try different remedies to fix the nap problem.
I swept the carpet. I went outside and scooped dog pie in the backyard. I washed dishes. I had a cup of green tea (somehow that caffeine isn't like other caffeines). Nothing worked.
I've complained about doubling percocet before, but that was the only answer to the dilemma. 2 at 8pm, 2 at Midnight, and out of that, about 6 hours emerged by early Sunday morning.
It's a bit after 4am now and I'm way ahead of Apollo. I have a cup of green tea at my side. I'm thinking of doing some laundry. I'm wondering if maybe 6am might bring me back to bed.
I don't know why sleep is so hard. I can list causation, we'd probably all agree on the lot of them. All I know is that I'm no good without some of it, and not such a fighter when there's none.
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